What's with me?
It's time i blog. Let's see.. yes, i've been studying these days, not really intensive but at least i did study for long. And at the later part of the night till midnight, i've been going out, out, out, getting to know new friends and stuffs. At first it was all so cool. You know, i've got all my beautiful souls after i let go of one soul. Just like how i gave up all my beautiful souls for that one soul. And i thought, wow.. i'm loving this life. I've got all the freedom in the world. I make friends, i hang out with friends, i dont have to explain to anyone, anything. I go out with anyone i one. I dont reject people on outings. I dont have to avoid any guys. I've got more people to share my sorrows with. I've got a new life......
Then again, when she mentioned your name last night.... why does it make my heart skipped an extra beat? Then the next moment, i see myself checking out your profiles. And the tears are back. I thought you've been forgotten. So why when someone mention about you, things start coming back? Like as if, the wonderful friends i've been chilling out with was all a dream. And i was woken up by this dream, and the fun we had disappeared and i'm back, with a broken heart, a lonely soul. Is it a front that i've put up? Or it was all a dream? i thought i hated you. You hurt me, you cheat on me, you didnt cared about my feelings, you didnt loved and i hate you. So where's the hatred now? i didnt need you. In fact, i DONT need you. i just wanted you, thats all. When people ask, "do you still love him?", "do you still think of him?" Without even thinking, the answer is NO. But if i really look back down, think through my mind, look through the heart..... okay, i do think of you. But definitely, there's no love. I'm believing in myself. I'm getting over you...... cos i couldnt find the reason why i loved you in the first place. You just made me afraid to love thats all.......
Then again, when she mentioned your name last night.... why does it make my heart skipped an extra beat? Then the next moment, i see myself checking out your profiles. And the tears are back. I thought you've been forgotten. So why when someone mention about you, things start coming back? Like as if, the wonderful friends i've been chilling out with was all a dream. And i was woken up by this dream, and the fun we had disappeared and i'm back, with a broken heart, a lonely soul. Is it a front that i've put up? Or it was all a dream? i thought i hated you. You hurt me, you cheat on me, you didnt cared about my feelings, you didnt loved and i hate you. So where's the hatred now? i didnt need you. In fact, i DONT need you. i just wanted you, thats all. When people ask, "do you still love him?", "do you still think of him?" Without even thinking, the answer is NO. But if i really look back down, think through my mind, look through the heart..... okay, i do think of you. But definitely, there's no love. I'm believing in myself. I'm getting over you...... cos i couldnt find the reason why i loved you in the first place. You just made me afraid to love thats all.......
With love, on Friday, October 20, 2006
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
xxx This scene is DEAD xxx
